I didn’t want to admit this - it absolutely is torture.
June 20th, 2009The sad part is, Bella didn’t really need a bath that badly. We were just a little bored on a Saturday night.
And every time we watch it, she glares at us — you fucking animals, you TAPED your sick little game?
And I thought I hated Brett Favre.
May 6th, 2009I’m not a Vikings fan, thank heavens, so I can’t be as annoyed with the Brett Favre song & dance as much as those who would have to watch him for sixteen weeks, pumping his old man arms and wearing his Wranglers. But still, I agree with every word of this.
That seething hatred I have of Brett Favre is part of who I am. It’s ingrained in my very being. When I die, my body will turn into nothing but solid black ash. I won’t go to Heaven. I won’t go to Hell. I’ll simply stop existing. Not a trace of me will be left, on this plane or any other. But, even then, I assure you I’ll still find a way to fucking hate Brett Favre.
Scott drinks a Budweiser and Clamato.
May 2nd, 2009The video is mirrored-image for some reason and cuts off halfway through. Such is life — only one chance to catch the magic.
I’m already laying out the subsistence garden in my in-laws’ backyard.
March 29th, 2009The Big Takeover : Rolling Stone
The most galling thing about this financial crisis is that so many Wall Street types think they actually deserve not only their huge bonuses and lavish lifestyles but the awesome political power their own mistakes have left them in possession of. When challenged, they talk about how hard they work, the 90-hour weeks, the stress, the failed marriages, the hemorrhoids and gallstones they all get before they hit 40.
“But wait a minute,” you say to them. “No one ever asked you to stay up all night eight days a week trying to get filthy rich shorting what’s left of the American auto industry or selling $600 billion in toxic, irredeemable mortgages to ex-strippers on work release and Taco Bell clerks. Actually, come to think of it, why are we even giving taxpayer money to you people? Why are we not throwing your ass in jail instead?”
But before you even finish saying that, they’re rolling their eyes, because You Don’t Get It. These people were never about anything except turning money into money, in order to get more money; valueswise they’re on par with crack addicts, or obsessive sexual deviants who burgle homes to steal panties. Yet these are the people in whose hands our entire political future now rests.
Good luck with that, America. And enjoy tax season.
I haven’t been wrong yet, a-hole.
February 10th, 2009This gives voice to my recent concern, i.e. that I do not trust anyone no matter how credentialed to provide sound, scientific economic analysis. I don’t have really any greater formal training in the hard sciences than I do in econ, so why is it so much harder to separate out the junk?
Today on television game show “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” the question was asked: which Nobel prize had never been awarded to a woman? I had never thought about it before I heard the question, but the answer was immediately apparent before the options were offered.
Economics has always been the social science of agenda-driving and dick-swinging. (Which is probably why I got my degree in it.) Don’t look for a hard scientific validation to your policy preferences, look to history and to common sense. (Common sense: if you give people money in the form of tax cuts, they won’t spend it. If you need things to get bought, the government needs to do it right now.)
That eggnog was delicious.
January 1st, 2009This was shot before Christmas ‘07, but a variety of delightful mishaps kept it from being posted to the Internets until a little while ago. You can’t tell by the finished product, but I was the only performer in this video whose character’s name was not their actual name. (I think I was filling in for someone.)
MIAMI DOLPHINS NUMBER ONE
December 28th, 2008Miami has the Dolphins
The Greatest Football Team
We take the ball from goal to goal
Like no one’s ever seen
We’re in the air, we’re on the ground
We’re always in control
And when you say Miami
You’re talking Super Bowl
‘Cause we’re the…
Miami Dolphins,
Miami Dolphins,
Miami Dolphins Number One.
Yes we’re the…
Miami Dolphins,
Miami Dolphins,
Miami Dolphins Number One
