jennings rampage

More things people need to know from me.

I don’t mean to blow my wad with this bit, but these search terms are far too amusing to keep to myself. And they make my blog sound far more interesting than it actually is.

These are the latest searches that have brought people a little taste of Jennings:

#reqs: search term
—–: ———–
4: georgetown gilbert and sullivan society
3: alison jennings lawsuit
2: gondoliers mp3
1: scott jennings -william
1: difference between stripper go go dancer
1: the story about motivation
1: should i date a stripper
1: bob barker girls
1: shaving fantasies
1: should you date a stripper
1: sixteen year old girl underwear
1: find license plate recognition
1: gristedes software
1: transsexual irc
1: rampage purse
1: alfredo pareto
1: rampage rip
1: resume examples wacky crazy cover letters attention
1: motivation story
1: april jennings
1: don’t touch me
1: marlena applebee’s
1: friend or foe contestant
1: stacy keibler wall paper
1: the price is right scam barker
1: kennedy mtv picture friend foe
1: motivation story
1: hooters waitress duties
1: stripper wear atlanta

I want to know the following eight things: 1) Is there a huge difference between searching for “should i date a stripper” and “should you date a stripper”? If we want to get ridiculous, shouldn’t one search for “should one date a stripper”? Good grief, good grammar, people. 2) Isn’t “sixteen year old girl underwear” getting a little too specific with our fetishes? Am I to understand that if it’s a seventeen year old girl’s underwear, that’s no good? And will you act indignant if I offer a fifteen year old girl’s underwear? 3) I’m probably not welcome back at Georgetown, right? 4) What is society’s fate if I’m being looked to as a resource on motivation? 5) Was the person who searched for “difference between stripper go go dancer” satisfied with the elaborate answer they received? 6) Was the person who searched for “resume examples wacky crazy cover letters attention” a retard? 7) What did Alison Jennings do to drag my name through the mud? What in the hell was the “hooters waitress duties” search looking for? Or “rampage purse”? Or “don’t touch me”? What do people need to know that make them type those words into Google? And what makes them click on some random blog entry result that clearly isn’t what they’re looking for?

I’m inspired to play a new game: the person who can click through to a page on my website from any search engine by typing in the best search query wins a to-be-determined inexpensive prize symbolic of greater glory. You must e-mail me with the search query that you used, and once it comes across in my webserver report, I’ll verify it for you. The winner will be announced at some future date. You must do better than “sixteen year old girl underwear”, since, duh, that’s my new favorite.

And I’ll set the over/under for getting a hit from a search for “blow my wad” at seven days.