jennings rampage

At long last, recognition for my accomplishments.

According to Google (and are YOU going to try to dispute them?), I am the #1 Scott Jennings on the Internet, finally overtaking that presumed wanker Scott Jennings who does a lot of video game stuff I’d never be interested in. He can keep it. Seriously, I used to be buried on page 24 or something, so this represents a major surge in the Scott Jennings rankings for me.

Now, yeah, I know the top result for the query is for some dude named William Scott Jennings, but that hardly counts. I don’t need three names. I’m Scott Jennings, the #1 Scott Jennings on the Internet. Whenever people want information on Scott Jennings, they’re directed to me, the #1 Scott Jennings on the Internet. I, Scott Jennings, am the public face of Scott Jennings on the Internet, the first Scott Jennings people see, and don’t think I’m not taking the responsibility seriously. I pledge to provide only the very best in Scott Jennings news and views, so that the good name of Scott Jennings continues to inspire other Scott Jenningses to be more like me, Scott Jennings.

I know I can count on at least one of you chuckleheads to come back with something like, “but Scott Jennings, what’s the big deal if you’re the #1 Scott Jennings on the Internet? I’m the #1 [insert far more obscure name here] on the Internet! What makes you so much better than me?” Well, if you really want to compete with me in the arena of Google name rankings, tell me how many Google results your name gets. You’re #1 out of what, 5000, maybe 7000 pages? That’s bush league. The #1 Scott Jennings on the Internet has to swim to the top of about 527,000 pages. I’ll just pause for a moment for you to be impressed. Being the #1 Scott Jennings on the Internet is something. Being the #1 whatever-your-name-is just doesn’t measure up.

So, in closing, thank you for continuing to get your Scott Jennings fix from the #1 Scott Jennings on the Internet. I couldn’t have done it without you, and of course the hundreds of Scott Jenningses over whom I’ve casually leapfrogged, making this so very meaningful for this humble Scott Jennings.