More defiant glibness.
October 7th, 2003 | by Scott Jennings |Two problems have been immediately pressing: how will I get coffee in the mornings, and what’s to be done about my daily lunches at Golden Corral? A jar of freeze-dried crystals will have to be a suitable stopgap for the first situation, but I’m not quite sure how to deal with #2.
Put aside the cruel cosmic irony that after going to Golden Corral for lunch practically every day for six months, the day I was fired was the first day I was given the senior discount in recognition of my loyalty. Yes, please put that aside. The simple fact is, I’m not going to drive fifteen miles each way to spend $9 (or even $8, damnit!) on lunch to keep that routine going, but I do need some sort of closure.
Leave it to Porter to devise an elegant solution: wait another week or so, dress up as the ghost of myself, and arrive to haunt the Golden Corral. Ghosts who haunt places often do so in order to address an unresolved issue, so I’d need one of those. “Open the third register when it gets really busy! Wooooooooooo!” Or perhaps, “Have more hamburgers ready to go at peak lunch hours! Aaaaaaaaahhh!”
See, this way, my departure is explained, and I make the Golden Corral a better place for future generations. But instead of doing that, I’ll probably end up doing nothing at all.
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