jennings rampage

You know, New York’s not such a bad place.

This was Brainos’s first visit to New York, so he wanted to see the sights. It was time for a walking tour.

Greg and I started our Half-Assed Yet Whirlwind Walking Tour of Manhattan at the Fifth Avenue station of the N/R line. This allowed me to gesture grandly and remark, “this is Fifth Avenue, and this is Central Park.” Greg was suitably impressed.

From there, we walked west along Central Park South to Sixth Avenue, where we turned south and headed for Rockefeller Center. We saw Radio City Music Hall, 30 Rock, the big Christmas tree, the ice rink, all the trappings of a Midtown Christmas. This was the first time that someone came up to us and immediately assumed we were tourists, which stunned me a bit, but I didn’t say anything because she was trying to sell me a hat, which I didn’t want.

Next, we walked towards Times Square, which seemed appropriate considering how much I’ve found myself accidentally yelling about our consumer society here of late. We began walking south on Broadway, until I realized that I had almost forgotten a major landmark, and we doubled back and headed uptown to see the marquee of the Ed Sullivan Theater.

By this time, Greg and I were pretty cold, so I asked him if he wanted to stop and warm up, and before he knew it, he was following me downstairs into Flashdancers. I totally tricked him! To his credit, he didn’t freak out or start crying, so we hung out a little while, enjoyed a $9 soda, and appreciated how entertaining strippers are. This was the second time it was assumed I was from out of town, and since the environment was a bit more friendly, I chose this as my time to protest. Tamika could hardly believe that I lived in New York for nearly three years, but pointed out correctly that once I left the city, I lost my right to call it home. Since I couldn’t win the argument, I just let her rub her tits in my face for a few minutes; Greg could not be convinced to experience his first lapdance.

I suggested that we move on from Flashdancers and Greg was at the door as I was blinking. So we walked back down Broadway to see TRL (a dream of Greg’s, I can only assume), and 42nd Street, where we decided to catch Stuck On You, which, here’s another bombshell, I hated.

We walked from there down Eighth Avenue to the UCB Theatre, where I got to dry-hump some old friends, and Greg got to see some NYC improv. We met up with my former roommate Joe after the show and grabbed some Thai food (Greg wussed out and ordered chicken wings), and then headed for the office and the weekly clandestine poker game.

I love the weekly poker game at the UCB office because the quality of play is generally very high for such low stakes — I get a good game without risking much money. The first tournament had fourteen players and I won first place, and the second tournament had nine players, and I made a dumb move due to fatigue and took fourth place. Joe and I kept ourselves busy for awhile by playing heads-up poker; I won three straight heads-up tournaments from my former-roommate-cum-poker-addict, which was nice because that’s exactly what I said I was going to do. Then we played a pot limit Texas Holdem ring game until 5:30am, where I took some more money from Joe. Greg played loose and impatient, and I revoked his right to call himself my protege rather early in the evening. I need to loan him a couple of books.

So there it is, Greg’s first day in New York. The poor little dear is still sleeping! All tuckered out!