jennings rampage

Hey ladies, we’re about to break it down.

Jeff headed back to Norfolk on Saturday afternoon, but not before he absolutely horrified Corey, Austin, and Porter with tales from his misogynistic adventures. Corey summed it up perfectly: “When I hurt a girl, I feel bad about it.”

Porter observed that Jeff and I seem to snipe at each other constantly, and also act betrayed that the other is sniping. I think it’s because we’re mutually disappointed with each other; Jeff thinks I’m irresponsible and a giant pussy, and I think Jeff is immature and a selfish asshole. We’re both right, which is why we sting each other so much. We love each other to death, we’d both do anything the other asked, but we’re both better off not living together. I ordered a tall glass of Honey Brown to celebrate a new beginning in my life.

We stayed at BW3 for the rest of the evening watching the AFC and NFC championships, both of which I had predicted incorrectly. Porter and Austin and I had a blast observing and participating in the sports bar ritual, where the Panthers fans and the Eagles fans both seemed to be extremely good-natured about telling one another that they suck. We enjoyed the spectacle of the Eagles fan with his face painted completely green, and marveled as he talked on his cell phone and waved his arms, trying to flag down his friend at the other end of the bar. The chick in the Eagles jersey who kept grabbing her chest was fun, and I had my heart broken as my favorite waitress (who hit on me one time so much that Ben Moser threatened to ask her out for me) completely ignored me and would only talk to Porter. Oh, and we made a recurring bit out of “and I fucked her in the ass and made her walk home.”

I’m getting temporarily settled in at the O’Bryan Ranch, I have my cats on either side of me on my futon, and I’m feeling fine. I took a trip out to Siler City (located fifteen miles west of nowhere) to visit the Wal-Mart and pick up some corndogs and burritos and Diet Pepsi, and I’ve been getting myself organized and doing laundry and catching up on correspondence and things of that nature. I should find out about the job interview in the next week or so, I’m looking for other baskets for my man-eggs just in case, and I’m gathering leads for apartments in Chapel Hill. Everything’s coming up Jennings.