jennings rampage

I continue to cope with being a moron.

So I’m pulling into my driveway tonight (a dark and moderately stormy night), one of those classy gravel numbers up a steep-enough hill. And somehow (and I’m honestly not sure at this point), I lose traction and slide backwards and get my right rear tire stuck in some mud, quite close to a ditch. Well, shit.

The T-bird is a rear wheel drive number, so this is a pretty good problem. The Brothers Brown and I try the usual routine of inching it back and gunning it forward, but that’s not helping. A man drove by and offered to come back with a winch, and we waited for awhile but that wasn’t helping, either. So finally, Dana Brown gets motivated enough to assemble a task force of four cool guys — The Brothers Brown, “Stone Cold” Austin Nava, and Scott “Still Coping” Jennings — to lift the rear end of my T-bird and swing it to the left, out of the mud, away from the ditch, and onto the gravel. That actually worked, much to Dana’s screaming delight, and the four cool guys got the T-bird back on the driveway and out of harm’s way. We were muddied and bruised and strained, but virile. Good for us.

In other car-related news, my brother has insisted that I make the following Internet Retractions:

1. There is nothing wrong with the gas tank on the car, it just allowed me to insert the nozzle too far, and since that’s what I’m used to doing, that’s what I continued to do. Once I left a little room for air to escape the tank, the gas pump worked fine. My brother insists I’m a moron, I insist it’s a design flaw.
2. The headlight knob was intact when I took ownership of the car; I pulled it out of the dash the second time I used it. Jeff used the headlights on his test drive, and insists that I am a brutish moron who just yanked too hard on the damn thing, I insist it’s a design flaw.
3. There was nothing wrong with the power steering, it just needed some power steering fluid. We agree that I’m a moron.