I’m not drunk.

March 22nd, 2004 | by Scott Jennings |

I guess one of the major disadvantages to hating everyone and everything is trying to convince people that I’m capable of love, you know, when that scenario arises.

I envy the genuine, the universally liked. I don’t know how they do it, and I don’t know why I don’t. I don’t know why I’m a tortoise with a shell of asshole. All I know to say is: oh well, fuck you.

If I tell you I love you, I mean it. If I tell you I love someone else, I mean that, too. If I came to see you, it’s because I love you. If I came to see your show, it’s because you mean a lot to me and I want you to know that. Perhaps, if only I were a better person, I wouldn’t need to be a complete ass all the time, but I love you all the same. If I snipe at you, I love you; if I talk to you all the time, I love you; if I’m even marginally selfless around you, I love you.

I’m not the father, I’m not the heart or the soul; I’m the crazy uncle, I’m the gut. Maybe I’ve been especially crazy these past few weeks, maybe I haven’t been checking my gut, but all I know to say is: oh well, fuck you.

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