You say ’semantics’ like it’s a bad thing.
August 17th, 2004 | by Scott Jennings |You know how sometimes on one of them Star Trek shows they’ll have a little exchange like this:
Captain guy: “Where the hell is Ensign Lopez?”
Dumb guy: “She’s in Stellar Cartography, sir.”
Just once, I want the captain to be all, “oh, Stellar Cartography, you say? Well, I’m glad you specified. For a second, I thought she was in the fucking room where they draw fucking maps of Florida with crayon on the back of paper grocery bags, then dip the edges in coffee and singe them with a candle to make them look all old-timey and shit. I thought you were talking about that kind of cartography, because we make shitloads of different kinds of maps out here on our starship. But no, she’s in Stellar Cartography. Well, that’s a different matter entirely, now isn’t it? See, I didn’t know what kind of cartography you were talking about here on this fucking starship until you fucking specified. Good work, douche. Stellar Cartography. That’s some good. Fucking. Work. Ensign Douche. Nice job. Really.”
That would be pretty great, I think.
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