jennings rampage

Maybe I should stop to consider that not everyone feels the same way about Thanksgiving.

The holiday was an across-the-board rousing success. Pictures will come soon, courtesy of Mr. Drowatzsky, but the deep-fried turkey was the best I’ve ever had. All the fixins were fantastic, good friends, got to see my brother, played some games, watched some movies, had a nice time. Dare I say it? Best Thanksgiving Ever!

But when the injured vagrant arrived, things got interesting. You see, there were about a dozen of us sitting around, enjoying a fire in the wood stove and watching Cannibal: The Musical around 11pm, when there comes a knock at the door. I shout, “come in!” since I figure it’s probably some late-arriving douchebag like Zach Ward. But no! It’s an injured vagrant!

This was unusual, because I live in a heavily wooded area, and my outside light had burned out. But here was an injured vagrant, with a gauzed right hand soaked through with blood, asking for either ten dollars or a ride to the hospital. Awkward!

His story was ridiculous, something about sharpening a lawnmover blade and being turned away from the hospital, but he wasn’t going anywhere, so I offered to give him a ride to the hospital even though he clearly just wanted ten bucks. But fuck that. If he’s injured, I’ll help him; if he’s not, then fuck that.

Jeff rode in the backseat while I drove the injured vagrant, who wouldn’t shutup about going to an “AT&T” to get ten bucks, despite our assurances that he wouldn’t be turned away from the hospital, and despite the fact that most ATMs dispense only twenties. Finally, at the end of the street, after a full twenty seconds of this rambling, I slammed the brakes and said, “sir, you’re not getting any money from us, now do you want a ride to the hospital or not?”

He didn’t, and got straight out of the car. Erik and Andrew had followed us, we both turned around and went back to my place, where they told me that a Buick of some sort had peeled out from the street to follow both of us. Well, that officially shifted us from sketchy-weird to sketchy-dangerous, and I was talked into calling the Chatham County authorities to report the situation. They said they already had a report on this guy from earlier tonight, and they’d send a cruiser out to scope and whatnot.

We saw the police car, but since we weren’t having too much fun, the cops didn’t stop to talk to us. The rest of the night was uneventful. Unusual things only happen at my house when I have people over.

I’m going to deep-fry another turkey very very soon.