I need to find a way to deliver this message while driving.
March 24th, 2005 | by Scott Jennings |Dear Asshat,
Your headlight(s) is/are misaligned. They’re shining directly into my eye, causing a serious traffic hazard. It’s fortunate that I’m a superior driver with excellent vision, otherwise your headlight issue could lead to an accident.
You may not be aware of this, but headlights function best when they’re aimed down, towards the road (the thing upon which you’re driving). You want the road in front of you to be lit up, not the rearview mirror of the car in front of you. That’s why headlights are installed the way they are. You should make yours installed that way again.
Are you even aware that your headlights are misaligned? Does it not bother you at all? Are you trying to hunt for raccoons as you drive? Have you ever had a misaligned headlight hit your eye? Do you not know how that feels? Do you feel no guilt about inflicting that on others? Have you any feeling at all? This is the end of the rhetorical question paragraph.
If your headlights aren’t lighting up the road directly in front of your car, then they’re creating a serious problem for everyone on the road. You’re being a selfish prick driving your car in that condition, you selfish prick. I’m not impressed that you passed your safety inspection; inspections are a joke. I don’t care if you drive your car with a broken radio or a rip in the vinyl, that doesn’t affect other drivers — being blinded fucking does.
Fix your headlights before you drive again at night. Thanks.
Sincerely,
Scott Jennings.
Dear Fuckface,
If you can’t drive at night without having your brights on ALL THE TIME, then get off the fucking road. Thanks.
Sincerely,
Scott Jennings
