This will do. This will do indeed.
August 25th, 2005 | by Scott Jennings |My hands and arms are tired and aching and my fingerprints are smudged with grease and feel worn off. I’ve spent the last three nights at home working my ass off to assemble this little beastie:
The best girlfriend in recorded history got this for my birthday, and even gave it to me a few days early so I’d have a little project to work on. And it was a project — the fucker came in a box that casually mentioned it weighs 170 pounds and failed to mention it contained approximately fifty-five hundred parts. But it’s finally in one piece, and it even looks very much like the photo above. I shall now catalogue the snags I hit:
- The weld on one side of the cooking chamber isn’t fabulous. In fact, it’s downright wobbly. But that box was 170 pounds, and if I can avoid taking it back, I’m going to. Probably means it’s time for a blowtorch.
- That rack at the bottom? I have no idea how that thing works. No way it works the way it does in the instructions. The instructions are terrible.
- This was my favorite: the predrilled holes for the handles were about a half-inch too close together. Each handle has one bolt.
- The wheels are for shit. You’re telling me I assembled a 170 pound steel contraption, and I have to move it on little plastic tinkertoy wheels? Weak. Literally.
But I am extremely satisfied by my Manly Accomplishment. I’m thinking Ginormous Labor Day Barbecue. I’ll keep you posted.
