More public service.
September 22nd, 2005 | by Scott Jennings |I’m very tired of the following speech patterns, and would like them phased out by the end of the month:
- The phrase “thanks anyway.” Fuck you, buddy. I wasn’t pissing my pants for the high honor of doing my best to help you with whatever dumbass request you had, so I see no real need to be so dismissive with that flip “anyway.” Seriously. You want my help, you’ll get it, and if it’s not good enough for you, I don’t care. If I don’t know how to get to Upmyass Church Road from here, not a goddamn thing I can do about it. Say “thanks” and keep moving.
- The adjective “indie” or “indy.” Ok, let me get this straight: you’re going to choose an adjective to modify the noun that represents what it is that you do, and the best adjective that you can give me is one that means “not affiliated.” Well, thanks anyway. Of course, this has much more to do with the notion of “indie cred” (which I do not have) which came from a lack of affiliation with “the man” (what a noble goal). Which leads me to this: the next time you tell me about an “indie improv team,” I will punch your nose. What’s the point of making a deal out of being independent from an improv theater? Which improv theater is “the man”? Do you not realize that all improv is “indie”? So please choose another adjective, or feel free to omit the extraneous detail and be simply “an improv team.”
