Honest fun marred by dickcheese.
December 14th, 2006 | by Scott Jennings |Last night, I emceed the White Elephant gift exchange down at the theater. It’s one of my favorite traditions — get a shitload of funny people (and a few who are trying really hard) to bring a wrapped gift, and then watch as they make with the unwrapping and the stealing. Seriously, there were some awesome gifts on the table: a harmonica, a nice set of nunchaku, a mannequin leg, a globe, several good books, a pimp cup, and the list goes on. I brought the DVD home game of The Price Is Right, which went to an appreciative recipient, and I left with the entirety of Ted Hobgood’s playing card collection, along with the bonus gift of two (count them, two) Will Ferrell SNL compilation DVDs. I will cherish them.
But it wasn’t all mirth and merriment, I’m afraid. Some anonymous douchebag came into my gift exchange with a neatly wrapped copy of the Verizon Yellow Pages, which he or she (but face it, probably he) placed amongst the actual gifts. Seriously. Some cockface gift-wrapped the fucking phone book, left the game with something awesome, and some person who spent $15-20 on a real gift and was excited to have fun and get something cool got stuck with jack-shit.
I wasn’t able to uncover the fucktard who had absolutely no respect for his friends and thought it would be awesome to mock our honest fun, but that was probably because it was obvious that I’d have gone absolutely apoplectic if I had. So this is for you, cowardly ass: that was a seriously shitty and disrespectful thing to do, and I take it very personally, and I hope you regret it and find a way to make it right.
