jennings rampage

Epic bedroom dilemma.

What I’m writing about here is something that has caused me a great deal of acrimony in my everyday life and relationships. People are walking away, rolling their eyes, telling me to shutup, all at a much higher rate than usual. Even my dear sweet beautiful bride-to-be does not want to hear about this any more. I have so bored everyone with this subject that I have no one left to turn to but you, Internet.

My new bedroom is small. It is the smallest space that I have ever heard anyone refer to as a “room.” Clearly it used to be a small den or an office that the landlord threw a sliding door on and called a bedroom, but such is Manhattan.

The dimensions of this bedroom are odd and trapezoidal, but after some tape measuring and geometry, I’ve arrived at an estimate of 62.5 square feet. (To be clear, Dave doesn’t have it a whole lot better, he’s got 80. He earned the right to pick first, and getting him to switch up didn’t get far.) As you may recall, I myself am not much smaller than 62.5 square feet, so this poses a challenge.

I had a thought process after I saw the numbers. My first thought was to downgrade from a queen bed to a full, but that wouldn’t buy me much, both of those footprints are the bulk of the room. I thought about putting my dresser and bookcase in the living room, but that’s sort of awkward. (Oh, and the living room is like six feet wide.) And then it hit me — LOFT.

I did a Google and landed here, who seem to be good people who make a quality product. But all they did was give me options. They’ll make a loft in a number of bed sizes and custom cut the legs for the height you need, so I need to decide among three major options:

1) I could GO FOR IT and get the extra tall legs and do the full-on queen-sized loft. I’d have 57 inches of room under the loft and 40 inches of room above the mattress. Sitting beneath would be like sitting in my car, about eight inches of headroom, and I’d be able to sit up in bed pretty easily. Pros: maximize living space, have a desk and a chair and room for my dresser, resale value, be a badass. Cons: climbing into bed, occasionally bumping my head on the ceiling, getting the cats up and down. Reality check: I don’t do much in my room but lay in bed and watch television, so why be so concerned about a desk?

2) I could GO FOR IT LESS and get a queen-sized loft with legs tall enough to clear my dresser and bookcase, stash them underneath, and then basically have a regular bed about four feet off the floor. Pros: plenty of room over the mattress, tons of storage space below, easier to get the cats up and down. Cons: no desk, no sitting space, probably couldn’t resell it as easily. Reality check: what’s the point of having some half-height loft that I couldn’t sell when I’m ready for a big boy bed again and doesn’t buy me a place to sit down and sort my mail?

3) I could GO FOR IT HARDLY AT ALL and get a queen-sized “high rise” bed that has 34 inches beneath it, buy a new dresser that’s shorter than 34 inches, and live life much like option 2. Pros: same as #2, plus I could leap into bed in a single bound. Cons: same as #2, plus I’d have to shell out for a new dresser, minus I’d probably have an easier time reselling it, or wouldn’t really need to resell it. Reality check: I’m still without a place to sit and sort mail, but this is the most like just having a regular bed.

As you can see, I’m completely obsessed with this and have thought it to the point that I’m completely torn among these three and cycle through them at the rate of one every hour or so. I have about two weeks before I commit and savor my buyer’s remorse.

So, Internet, what do you think? Am I missing an elegant solution?

(Next obsessive post: what to do about my television?)