jennings rampage

Where I join the pundit class.

I want this all over the Internet before I get a txt from my boy Barack telling me I’m wrong: Hillary Clinton will be the vice presidential nominee of the Democratic Party.

Seriously. Hillary Rodham Clinton, the lady who ran against Obama in the primary. You remember her, right?

Here’s the thing: the accepted “short list” of nominees is totally lackluster and a great big pile of meh. I mean, no offense to my esteemed roommate, but when the most exciting prospect is the US Senator from MBNA, the honorable Joseph “Epic Fail” Biden, we’re not talking about the best and the brightest to begin with. Further down the list, we’re looking at Evan Bayh and Tim Kaine, both of whom bring nothing to the table but liabilities.

And then I thought — this has to be by design. The Democratic bench isn’t nearly that shallow, someone like Kathleen Sebelius would be an outstanding pick, allow Obama to double-down on “change,” and bring another burst of energy to the ticket. Obama/Sebelius also gets to downplay the quickly quieting charges of misogyny and provides an opportunity to talk all about all this feeling good — makes sense, right? Obama won’t play into the “pick a VP to cover my flaws” CW, he’s going to DOUBLE DOWN, right? So why is the shortlist chock full of the usual crummy suspects?

Because it’s a head fake and he’s going to pick Clinton. This way, Obama gets to say he took a good hard look at everyone out there, and Clinton was the best person for the job. (Which, compared to the Biden/Bayh/Kaine triumvirate, she totally is.) Clinton gets the spot on the ticket she wanted all along without looking like she used her leverage to force her way in, Obama gets to be the strong leader who chose his own running mate based on his own criteria, all of Clinton’s supporters piss themselves with glee, and Obama/Clinton wins by twelve points.

This explains why Sebelius was never seriously floated — she’s a better candidate for VP than Clinton. You can’t make the “I picked the best candidate on their merits” argument if Sebelius is on the shortlist, and picking Clinton over Sebelius makes the story all about how Clinton used her clout and made threats. Right now, Obama and Clinton’s supporters have, for the most part, in spite of the best efforts of the pundit class, moved on to how horrible bought-and-paid-for McCain would be. Clinton’s supporters are already breaking for Obama at a rate you’d hope they would. Obama doesn’t need Clinton, he wants to change the narrative to OMGZ EPIC DREAM TICKET UNBEATABLE GO HOME OLD MAN. Whether or not that would happen is even more pointless speculation, but I’m guessing that’s the guessing.

Of course, my phone could buzz at any moment with an SMS telling me I’m wrong. But I think I might be right, and if I am, I’m excited. If I’m right, it’s all over.