Internet Rule #1: You don’t fuck with Clay Aiken.

December 17th, 2008 | by Scott Jennings |

Most of my free time has been spent building howRDUdoin?, which is why I haven’t had so many lols for you here, I’m sorry.

This has been an incredible education for me, I feel like I’ve unlocked the secrets of the Internet, which will make me more popular and a hit at parties. (Do you need more traffic quickly? Start blogging the full names of murder victims and suspected murderers.)

But today we uncovered a bit of a surprise: if you mention Clay Aiken in a negative light, even in passing, even in a no big deal kind of way, CRAZY PEOPLE WILL SUDDENLY APPEAR. Like, bona fide fucking crazy people! Ben wrote a post today talking about some Raleigh folks on some TV show, and he compared that to the time Clay Aiken was on a TV show, and man! Shit got crazy, quick!

I was really curious about where these people came from, because this was clearly an Internet lesson for me. And usually when strange people show up on your blog, it’s because you were linked from another blog or message board or something, except that didn’t happen this time. So I cracked open the Google Analytics, and found a whole lot of people were coming to that page directly, with no referer. And more people were coming referred by a webmail client. So it seems that one of these fucking crazy people found this one post, probably because they have a Google Alert rigged to a siren or something, and then sent it to all his crazy friends, using email or IM or something. They probably eschew message boards, because people like me would go and laugh at them. So they’re left to live in the darkness, vigilant but hidden, like boring ninjas.

If they were invisible, they would defend Clay on every blog.

(They’re on their way, aren’t they?)

  1. 3 Responses to “Internet Rule #1: You don’t fuck with Clay Aiken.”

  2. By Dave on Dec 18, 2008 | Reply

    Ha ha ha ha ha. You still have no idea do you? They are fucking everywhere! Millions of them. You can’t escape them. Don’t even try. Your best defense is either be nice or don’t say anything. If you’re nice you get more hits than if you try to be funny. I have a blog so I know.

  3. By samantha on Dec 20, 2008 | Reply

    It doesn’t look as if they are on their way, afterall.

    I only see three comments on Ben’s blog entry that are fans of Clay Aiken and only two of them are critical. Did you get a lot of private communications? If not, it looks as if you’re trolling for hits. Try poking fun at the Jonas Bros. if you really want attention.

  4. By Scott Jennings on Dec 20, 2008 | Reply

    Trolling for hits, on my personal blog? Perish the thought.

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