Archive for the ‘SUBURBAN RUT’ Category

Saw this coming the whole way. In the end, don’t care.

Tuesday, August 28th, 2007

Dear [former landlady]: I just want to clarify a few things. I know you're going to keep my full deposit because you're the landlady and you're better at this than I am, but I want to be clear on a few things. - I paid the pet deposit to the original management ...

Sometimes you just have to drive over the bridge for an afternoon.

Saturday, August 18th, 2007

Gigantic mall! Gigantic movie theater! Target! Parking in parking lots! Driving! Full service gas! NEW JERSEY, baby! Five stars! I'll be back!

Don’t that just beat all.

Thursday, July 5th, 2007

It was July 5th, the day after a national holiday. My boss and my coworker were both out. I was just back from the gym, my hair was still damp and my skin still flushed and my brow still a little beaded, that shower never quite takes. My VP came ...

In which I give in to my inner kinda-foodie.

Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007

Tonight I had a duck confit poutine that was simply zomg. And a cheese plate that included a brie with champignon that I could not believe either, but who's counting? It looks like the jury is back, and yes folks, here's the verdict: The Federal > Milltown.

Undefeated and unfulfilled.

Thursday, June 28th, 2007

lauren: i still dont really like facebook me: nonsense. lauren: and i only log in to poke you back. me: HA! I WIN THE POKE WAR! it took three months, BUT I WIN. lauren: wait. because i acknowledged it? thats grounds for losing? me: yep! sorry! lauren: who died and made you gov'na of the poke wars? me: ummm, ...

No, you can’t has. (Not yours.)

Wednesday, June 20th, 2007

Oh man. I was going to have the best personalized license plate EVAR. I scoped it out on the DMV website, it was totes available, all I had to do was pay my county vehicle tax and renew my registration, and it was going to be MINE. This was a couple ...

Be on the lookout for another big fat awkward douchebag.

Friday, June 8th, 2007

I went to Whole Foods (because I'm still sick of all these fucking partial foods) last night to pick up the ingredients for chicken mole, my current culinary obsession. I make a mean mole. Back at the butcher's counter, a lady butcher I'd never seen before came up to me, and ...

Memorial Day documented.

Monday, May 28th, 2007

Fine, dogs are cute, they're loving, they're endearing, but IT NEVER ENDS. If you don't want to deal with a cat, you throw it off the couch and it says, "fine asshole, I didn't want to see you anyway." The dogs don't give you a choice. This is Daisy. She's a ...

Country living!

Sunday, May 27th, 2007

What a DAY! I ran two and a quarter MILES on a TRAIL in the WOODS! I rode a SEGWAY! I drove an ATV! I saw a whole bunch of COOL SHIT that I can't talk about on the INTERNET! I cut OAK with a CHAINSAW! I had a turkey SANDWICH for LUNCH! I went to WAL-MART! I ...

I should do this more often.

Friday, May 11th, 2007

Fourteen hours later: Let it fall apart, add sauce: